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October 5 (Age 18)
Whoo hoo! I got accepted to
UCLA! Can't believe it! I
thought as I opened the
acceptance letter and closed
it and reopened it, that for
sure I hadn't gotten in. My
grades are okay and I got
some nice letters of
recommendations, but I don't
know. I just never pictured
myself going to a university
like that. I never pictured
myself going to college
period. Until the last
couple of years. And then I
thought I'd be lucky to be
able to go to a community
college. But UCLA – man,
it's unbelievable.
I'm not going to live on
campus or anything. That's
too expensive and my loans
and grants won't cover much
for living expenses. But
that's okay. I don't live
that far from the
university. And my bike is
hanging in there. I've had
the engine practically
rebuilt. Changed the
brakes, the tires, the
handle bars, everything.
It's almost brand new. So I
can drive back and forth, no
problem.
Actually, the only problem
is that Carlos is getting
out of jail and moving back
home. My mother is super
excited, of course. Carlos
is her baby. But I'm
nervous about seeing him,
and about having to live
under the same roof as that
worthless, despicable,
subhuman, vulgar, evil –
enough said – person.
I plan to stay out of his way. I'll be at The Vibe or in
school. I won't see much of
him. And we're both adults
now. Well, almost. Maybe he's
changed. Maybe he isn't holding
a grudge for my testifying
against him. Maybe hell has
frozen over and O.J. really
didn't kill Nicole.
One thing's for sure. He won't
be laying a finger on me and
living to tell about it this
time. I'll make that clear to
him immediately. I'll stay out
of his way and he can stay out of
mine.
Either way, I'm not letting his
coming home ruin my excitement
about college. It's going to be
great.
I told Marcela about it last
night and she was so happy she
danced around the living room in
her mother's home like a crazy
person. She hugged me and swung
me around and danced to her
mother and jumped up and down,
then pulled George in who was
laughing. She's promised me
complete support until I'm
finished with my degree. Of
course I'm not going to accept.
I can work and go to school.
Besides, I'll have grants.
Marcela is the best, she really
is, but she's not responsible
for me – as much as she believes
she is. I've wondered through
the years why she has taken on
such a huge chore. Yes, I'm
talking about me. When I was
younger I didn't realize what
she was doing. But now I know
that she has put in a gazillion
hours and tons of money into
helping me -- a total stranger.
When I asked her once why she'd
done it, she said something
about a list she'd made once to
become a better person. I
didn't really get it. But now I
know Marcela. I know that she's
not great at showing her
emotions, but she has a
tremendous heart. I know that
she sometimes feels guilty that
she has so much when others
don't. And I know that she
values her family and would do
anything for them. And in her
mind, I became part of her
family – and since that time,
she's held nothing back.
I don't know what I'm going to
do with my life, but I do know
that I'm super lucky. Somehow
in the middle of total chaos
when my life was pretty much in
the gutter and I was destined to
become another casualty of the
streets, I was sent a lifeline.
Most people don't get the kind
of help I've gotten. I know
that. So whatever I do from now
on, I won't forget where I came
from. Maybe I can do for
someone what Marcela did for
me. Who knows. It's possible.
Well, I better turn in. It's late.
And this future college student is
way tired.
Lupe
© 2006 Lara Rios
All Rights Reserved
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